Modesty: What’s in it for me?
How would you respond if you were told that you should exercise because it would make your neighbors happier? What if you were taught that the importance of your daily devotions was to protect your sister’s spirituality? Often this same logic is used when teaching girls and women to dress modestly. When modesty is discussed, the church motivates as follows: “A woman should dress modestly, so that she does not make her brother in Christ stumble.” Though the Bible clearly teaches that we should not make a brother stumble, that is insufficient motivation. That our brothers in Christ can stumble when looking at an immodestly dressed women, should be a guide to the definition of what modesty is not the motivating factor. There are much greater reasons for a woman to dress modestly than to protect and please men. Modesty should not be a badge of masculine weakness but rather a showing of a woman’s desire to honor and please God.
How a women dresses is a reflection of who she is on the inside. She takes great care and thought deciding what to wear and how to present herself to the world. The mere act of dressing is in essence a plea to be known, or unknown. The clothes, which a women wears, are a form of communication with the world. “This is who I am. Appreciate me! Understand me!” Notice how a woman dresses, not the specifics of a particular day, but her general appearance (her lifestyle), and you will know much more about her.
Women were created by God in His image (Gen. 1:27). As image bearers, a woman most strongly reflects a different aspect of God than a man does. Women are drawn to beauty – they long to be beautiful. Women are relational - they long for deep heart connections. Women are communicative - they long to be known. But most of all, women long to be loved. They long to be valued - to have their infinite value proved to them. From these basic heart cries, comes the outflow of immodesty. It’s not what goes into a man that makes him unclean, but that which comes from the heart (Matt 15:17-18).
Immodesty is a symptom not the disease. When a woman (even young girls are women in training) dresses immodestly, that action comes from the outflow of what is in her heart. Yet, the religious world tries to treat the symptom rather than dealing with the heart of the problem. To ease the ripple effects of immodesty, most religious movements throw rules at the problem. If the problem of immodesty is to be conquered, then a woman’s heart must be sought and the issues of her heart resolved. External motivations are a legalistic temporary fix.
Let’s move logically backwards from the symptom to the heart. There are many different branches that could be taken, but her heart is the key to it all. What does this woman want so badly, that she is willing to dress the way she does? The world says, “If you want to be beautiful - this is how you must dress. If you want to be loved - this is what you must show to get the man’s attention.” This message comes through every means possible: television, movies, friends, family, celebrities, advertisements, magazines, etc. This indoctrination begins at the earliest of ages, and hits a young girl in her heart. The church is using only one selling point for modesty - and it doesn’t touch a woman’s heart. But our culture is training away proper modesty and putting in its stead brazen sensuality. See, immodesty has to be trained into a person (the exception being the youngest children, who are innocently without shame - as a flashback to creation).
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In the Garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve sinned, they realized that they were naked and covered themselves. The Hebrew word for naked invokes an image of everything laid bare and open to sight. This was both a spiritual and physical nakedness. But since man’s physical being is more obvious - that must be dealt with as well as the spiritual. When sin came, Adam and Eve were still image bearers. Only now, the physical form of the image must be clothed.
They tried to cover themselves (Gen. 3:7). Literally, they just created loincloths; this Hebrew word, coverings, is used elsewhere for belts and girdles. Adam and Eve’s attempt at modesty was not sufficient. Note that it was after their attempt that they still say, “I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself (Gen. 3:10b).” Their sense of physical nakedness drove them to hide from God. From their point of view, their inadequate clothing became a barrier to their relationship with God.
God took down that barrier. God clothed man (Gen. 3:21). He promised a covering for the spiritual nakedness (“serpent/seed”) in the coming Messiah. He foreshadowed their redemption (shed blood). Then He dealt with the physical problem. Mankind cannot deal with the spiritual, unless the physical is taken care of. Prayer is very difficult, when the stomach is growling. Therefore, clothing, just like the rest of the world was not an invention of mankind, but of God which was made to remove the physical barrier to relationship with Him. Sadly, this last touch put on creation by God, is represented in Sunday school illustrations, flannelgraphs, and famous art as caveman-esque hides shapelessly draped over Adam and Eve without care or craftsmanship (the hair isn’t even removed). The God revealed throughout the whole of scripture would have given Adam and Eve beautiful, functional, long lasting, and symbolic clothes which reminded Adam and Eve continually of sin and holiness. This is the God Who wants women to dress modestly, not because of the surrounding world, but because of her relationship with Him.
Notice how in the Genesis 3 account, though the real problem was on the spiritual level,
Adam and Eve were so caught up in the physical symptom (their nakedness) that they couldn’t begin to deal with the spiritual issues. Whatever the heart problem that allowed them suddenly to feel shame at their nakedness; they only could focus on the physical nakedness. The religious world does that same thing with the modesty issue today. They fail to look past the physical symptom to the real cause, and issue in the heart of the woman. Just as Adam and Eve tried to cover themselves to deal with their new-found bareness, so today the issue becomes about the covering, not the person.
Humanity senses nakedness more clearly when that which is holy, or that which is perceived to be holy, is near. Women walking by the chapel at our county fair adjust their shirts so that less cleavage and midriff are showing. When a pastor or priest approaches, people are less comfortable in their immodest dress. In Israel the churches, synagogues, and mosques require shoulders, knees, stomachs, and cleavage to be covered- and provide scarves when necessary, or simply refuse entrance to both offending men and women. There is an innate response in man to holiness that includes covering oneself.
The believing woman has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and has the Holy Spirit in her. Dressing modestly should be an outflow of daily remembrance that she is justified, made righteous, holy, and that the holiness of the Messiah, Christ Jesus is what God sees when He sees her. She is not separated from God, but walks with Him daily. This should motivate her modesty.
When Jesus spoke about men’s visuality, He addressed the men, not the women (Matt.
5:27-30). Scripture does address modesty (Gen. 3; I Tim. 2:9-10; II Pet. 3:3-6), but it does not require modesty for the same reasons which today’s church requires it. Perhaps, scripture’s front door to the issue is ignored, because many think the more obvious back door is more important.
Rather, let us use the symptom of immodesty to plead with their hearts. Use teachings on modesty as a platform to show women God. They are seeking love and appreciation; they are looking and not finding. Use this topic to point them to the One Who loves them intimately and wholly. The One Who gave everything, not just for their body, but for their soul. The One Who can understand their deepest pains, and joys, and fears. The One Who desires a love relationship with them. Their modesty should be a reflection of His divine presence, and relationship with Him which consumes their lives. Modesty should not be a badge of masculine weakness but rather a symbol of the God who changes hearts and lives, and Who created women in His image: beautiful, relational, emotional. He is a God Who is real, and present. He is not a God with rules we must obey at the cost of feeling beautiful and loved. He is the source of true love unimaginable.
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Every woman wants to be precious and beautiful. But, physical beauty is perishable. We age and “beauty” fades away never to be retrieved. A woman cannot be beautiful forever, therefore, it seems, an aspect of her value will be lost. Peter and Paul both give away the secret to a precious imperishable beauty that will never fade. “But let [the adorning] be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price (I Peter 3:4).” Adornment is not looked down on, but rather as something good which pleases.
Paul, in I Timothy 2, deals more directly with modesty. The chapter starts with an injunction for prayer so that believers “may lead a quiet and peaceable life (I Tim 2:2).” It moves to dealing specifically with males and Paul commands that men pray everywhere “without wrath and doubting (I Tim 2:8).” Paul does not reiterate to the women the necessity of prayer. He rather addresses their adorning. “In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefastness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls or costly array; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works (I Tim 2:9-10).” Paul starts by dealing with the attitude of the women. They are to do all that he commands “in like manner (I Tim 2:9a)” to how the men were praying: “without wrath and doubting (I Tim 2:8a).”
After establishing the manner of attitude, Paul moves on to discuss firstly what they ought to be wearing. Notice the positive command “I will ... that women adorn themselves (I Tim 2:9b).” This word for “adorn” is the Greek word meaning to “embellish with honor, gain ,” to “make beautiful or attractive (Bauer 446).” It speaks of causing “something to be beautiful by decorating .” There is no injunction here against a woman making herself beautiful. A woman is actually instructed to make herself beautiful - by using “modest (KJV)” clothing.
Modest clothing in this text means that which is “moderate, well ordered ,” nicely arranged clothing. This adorning is to be done with “shamefastness (KJV),” which means (in the Greek) “modesty/respect .” It is a “quality of modesty - with the implication resulting in respect .” To be modest is to be respectable in dress . Alongside modesty, this adorning is to be accompanied by “sobriety (KJV).” This term does not speak to a state of soberness instead of drunkenness, but rather to “rationality, mental soundness” and “good judgment, moderation, self control .” Women are to think about how they dress, and to use their God given intellect to accompany their moderate clothing. Paul is commanding women to make themselves beautiful using well-ordered, put together clothing which is respectable and chosen out of good judgment.
These terms are contrasted with how women naturally go about making themselves beautiful. Natural women use “braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array (I Tim 2:9).” Paul doesn’t want a believing woman’s beauty to be dependent upon these man-made devices. He wants her to make herself beautiful “with good works” which “becometh women professing godliness (I Tim 2:10).” The word “becometh (KJV)” means to be “fitting, proper, right .” Paul wants the beauty of these women to be from their good works. This contrasts the elaborate hair, make-up, jewelry, and clothing, commonly employed even by believing women as their primary means of beauty.
Notice what Paul says about good works in Ephesians 2:10 “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” Women are created and then saved for specific good works which God has already laid out of them to do. Therefore, it follows logically, that a woman’s outward physical appearance, her inward natural personality (as it is further sanctified), and cultural background are chosen for her by God, because of what He wants her, and her only, to do. God has specifically handmade each woman special for the tasks He has chosen her to do. What she looks like physically is not divorced from what she is created to do.
God made each woman in such a way that if He planned marriage for her, that a certain man would be attracted to her, and their children (whom He knows before they are born) would be ready for what He has them to do. The LORD made each woman so that, as she interacts with her environment according to the physical form and abilities He gave her, He could be most glorified. These good works, with which Godly women are to make themselves beautiful, are a predestined guarantee, a promise. There will never be a time in her life when a woman cannot make herself beautiful. Here He gives a hope of everlasting and increasing beauty.
Modesty is given to woman as a way to glorify God. It does not detract from beauty, but rather allows a woman’s true God given beauty to shine more brightly. In teaching women to dress modestly, one must see who women are, and what God desires for these who are so precious in His sight.
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NOTE TO WOMEN: Dear sisters, let us watch ourselves carefully. When we slide toward habits of immodest dress or attitude – let us ask ourselves: What is it that my heart craves so much, that I am adopting the world’s answer to my problem? What truth about God do I need to cling to? What relationship do I need to build?
