Fighting with God. Telling Him what I want from life. My current life doesn’t match up. Thinking of possibilities, positive and negative. If I’m stuck with the negative – life doesn’t seem worth it.
“Am I enough?”
“What does ‘enough’ look like,” I cry back. How does a relationship with You settle my earthly desires and wants? You aren’t of the physical realm, to be seen, touched, felt. What does it mean that You’re enough?! I want SO much out of life, but I’m to be content with You, even if everything else vanishes before my eyes?
“Am I enough?” The question reverberates in my mind, “If your life continues, and you NEVER got anything you want. . . Am I enough?”
A good Sunday School girl doesn’t have an honest answer to that question. Per “truth” I’m obligated to say, “Yes, Lord. You’re enough,” but my flesh rages a resounding, “NO – You can’t be serious!” My lips can speak the correct words, but does my heart really believe them? Let’s be honest, “No, Lord. You aren’t enough.” OR perhaps more accurately, “I don’t know HOW to find enough in You. I’m lost, chasing dreams, when you’re standing, waiting for me, reminding me of Your love, showing me Your truth.”
I think ahead to my lesson on Genesis 5: a genealogy from Adam to Noah. My mind stops at Enoch. We know so little about him. He’s dropped in the middle of a genealogy. We know his name, how long he lived, his son’s name, and that he had other children. But what did he DO with his 365 years? Did he have a happy, beautiful, Godly family – full of joy and laughter? Were his ambitions, dreams, and deepest desires fulfilled? We don’t know. But, what we do know is that his God was ENOUGH. You see, “All the days of Enoch were 365 years. Enoch walked with God, and he was not found, for God took him (Gen 5:23-24).”
The imagery here is powerful. Enoch walked with God. And one day, never came home. He was not found.
You have a man, father, grandfather. Perhaps a teacher, mentor, craftsman, leader, shepherd. But his heart’s desire is to be with God, walking and talking – fellowshipping as close friends. One day, they don’t stop. Their walk continues. Enoch is so wrapped up in God that he doesn’t necessarily notice when they leave the earthly realm for the heavenly dimension. They walk past the sunset, to a place others only reach by death.
“Enoch walked with God.” His God was enough. Notice the text doesn’t say, “Enoch was dragged around by God.” How often do we feel that way? No – walking is done by choice.
What a picture of growing in ‘enoughness.’ Enoch was a human, just as we are. I’m sure he struggled with the pull of his family, verses walking with God. I’m sure he had heart-ache and trouble (his son Methuselah was the only one in the whole genealogy to die in the flood. Perhaps a rebel against God?). But as time went, and as he grew closer to God, he could, one day, continue walking with God into paradise without looking back. Because, God was all he needed. He is truly enough.
(I wrote this the night before teaching on Genesis 5. God is really working my heart over with the truth that HE is totally and completely ENOUGH. I will be getting to Gen 1-4, eventually. But I figure, why not start with what is already written!)
This was very moving for me. I like to consider that the Lord is enough. In marriage sometimes you have to find HIM enough, because your man just cant live up to godly standards, can't love you as Christ does, at least not ALWAYS.
ReplyDeleteWhen you are a mother, you have to wonder too, is He enough? If I lose all of my children, will He still be ENOUGH?
I can say, that it is enough to know that He is God. My God. That He has a plan for my life and the life of my children. If I never have my farm, or another boy child; if I lose my children in their youth, if my body succumbs to sickness, I believe I WILL fall to my face and say "ye, though You slay me, yet will I trust You." I will worship Him.
I have suffered as a mother, as a wife, as a woman... I have called upon the Lord and He has heard my cry. I have learned, that I CAN say He is enough. Hard times draw me closer to Him yet...
May the Lord settle this in your heart and mind too.
PS> do we know for sure that Methuselah died IN THE FLOOD? is it possible that he simply died earlier that year? I have oft wondered that.
In Christ ALONE,
Mrs. Meg Logan
No, we don't know for sure that he died in the flood. But we don't see his participation in the building and prepping of the ark (which took approximately 100 years). . . I personally think he died in the flood, but before is certainly possible.
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