Masculine Character Evaluation for a Date or Mate

A couple of my girls asked for this list. And I figured there may be others who would appricate it, so I'll share it here.

The LORD challanged me to go to His Word as the primary method of evaluating male-female relationships. This is a list of characteristics I found which should be considered when evaluating a man as a potential date or partner (When I have time I'll create a list of characteristics of women). This is not an exhaustive list, nor will any man fit this perfectly. Yet, I believe these are the sorts of character standards by which we should evaluate potential mates and our dating relationships. Is the man growing in these areas and seeking to reflect Christ to us?

But start the entire process with this question: Will this relationship further the kingdom of God (Matt 6:31-34; 1 Cor 7:32-35)?

1 Tim 3:1-7 (This one particularly applies to those of us who feel a call to full-time vocational ministry. The man I marry must be qualified to be a pastor).

• Above critism, meaning he leads a life which cannot generally be criticized (vs 2)
• Eyes for his woman only – not dating around, not having trouble deciding, pursuing YOU – faithful, loyal to his woman (vs 2).
• Self-controlled: restrained, in control of his emotions and reactions, characterized by (2)
• Sensible in his behavior (2)
• Worthy of respect – Respected by church leadership, friends, acquaintances (2)
• Hospitable – opens his life to others (2)
• Able to teach (2)
• In control of addictive behaviors especially in relation to alcohol and drugs (3)
• Not violent (3)
• Gentle: considerate, gracious (3)
• Not looking for a fight but rather preferring peace (3)
• Not possessions oriented: doesn’t need a lot of “stuff” (3)
• The type of man who you would want to raise your children (4)
• Not recently saved: spiritually mature (6)
• Well thought of by the unsaved community (7)

1 Tim 3:8-10, 12 (This one is for those who do not feel a personal call to ful-time ministry and desire to serve wherever God would have them, as well as those of use who feel called to full-time ministry, our mates should be this and more)

• Respectable/honorable (8)
• Not hypocritical/two-faced, insincere (8)
• In control of addictive behaviors especially in relation to alcohol and drugs (8)
• Honest in his work and not overly materialistic (8)
• Have a clear conscience, especially concerning the gospel (9)
• Free from accusations: there is no one to accuse them of wrongdoing (10)
• Eyes for his woman only – not dating around, not having trouble deciding, pursuing YOU – faithful, loyal to his woman (12)
• The type of man who you would want to raise your children (12)

Boaz (The book of Ruth is an interesting model for considering a marriage partner – ispecially if we look at Boaz semi-typolocially)

• Characterized by quickness and strength (consider the Hebrew meaning of his name) (3:1)
• Able and willing to fight for what is necessary (3:1 - גבור)
• Strong, efficient, financially secure (3:1 - חיל)
• Attentive to and proactive in caring for our needs and the needy (2:9, 14; 3:15)
• Speaks words of blessing and encouragement (2:4, 11-12; 3:10)
• States his opinion of me/you clearly (2:11-12; 3:11)
• Respects me/you (cpt 2-4)
• Has an eye to protect the weak (2:8-9)
• Knows the process of evaluating character (2:5-7, 11-12)
• Leads those under him in how to treat the weak and outsiders (2:15-16)
• Close relative: i.e. brother in Christ (2:1)
• Knows how to have a good time (3:7)
• Celebrates good things (3:7)
• Responds to sudden, odd, awkward situations with blessings (3:10)
• Follows through on requests/needs (3:11-4:13)
• Works to keep my/your life from unnecessary fear (3:11)
• Understand the Word (Torah/law) and how it relates to society (3:11-12; 4:1-9)
• Is proactive in guarding and protecting reputation, both his and mine/yours (3:14)
• Gives up his own rights for the Word of God and the good of others (4:10)

Joseph, Mary’s husband (The kind of man Jesus had as an earthly father. The type of man God chose to raise His son)

• Just man (Mt 1:19)
• Unwilling to put his woman to shame (Mt 1:19)
• Obeys the Lord: knows how to hear and listens to personal directives (Mt 1:24; 2:20-23)
• Looks out for the safety of his family (Mt 2:20-23)
• Obeys the laws of the land/ honors the governing authority (Luke 2:3-4)
• Obeys the Word (Lk 2:22-24, 29)

Eph 5

• Loving (25, 28, 32)
• Self-sacrificing (25, 28, 32)
• Immerses me/you in the word (26)
• Keeps an eye on my purity and holiness (26)
• Aware a husband is responsible to God for your spiritual condition (27)
• Considers you precious (29)
• Takes care of your needs (29)
• Able to cut the apron strings from his parents (30)

I Peter 3:7

• Seeks to understand you and modify life according to that knowledge (7)
• Honors the woman as equal by different prizing her femininity (7)

Ps 112

• Delights in the Word of God (all of it, OT and NT including Lev and Deut) (1)
• Looks to leave a legacy (2)
• Financially secure or at the very least makes wise financial decisions (3)
• Gracious, merciful, righteous (4)
• Generous (5, 9)
• Just (5)
• Trusts the Lord, doesn’t worry about the future (7-8)
• Has success in his life (8)

Here are a couple thoughts on attraction I’ve been challenged with:

• What do I feed my eyes and the lusts of my flesh (Prov 27:19-21)?
• Do I love what God loves (1 Sam 16:7)?